I took a break from most things for the past month. It wasn't a tough month but I could feel my soul dragging it's feet as I hurried to Platform A to catch the 7am train.
It gets to my destination too fast. There isn't time left to just think. No time left to observe and collect the frayed ends of my heart and tuck them neatly away. The past 5 years I spent countless hours in transit. Rising with the sun and watching the waves gently toss in the morning breeze. An hour there and back, to just listen. To worry, to smile, to laugh or to cry.
There are no more shades of sky-mirroring blue left in my commutes. Instead the highlight is a hill covered in purple wild flowers that fade as each day passes. This world of responsibility and of law lectures and meeting new people is trying. The familiar faces of friends who have also ventured to this dry place bring me joy. In them, I find myself relaxed and unguarded.
I find myself walking streets I have never seen before. Strange as I would never venture out this way before. I do not know these roads. I used to be able to close my eyes and even after a long time, I'd know where we were on the road. Your bones know every turn and bump once you've been doing something all your life. But here my compass spins aimlessly.
My knees ache from this new need to walk around and my calves tighten when I lay in slumber. The hours are too short to matter and the waking rays of dawn arrive earlier than expected.
There are storms here that shout and rattle the window frames. The days are an undecided mixture of fat raindrops and piercing heat. I feel like an alien.
This world of academics and crowds where you are just a number and timetables of unknown symbols confuse me. But I do love it.
I have tried to find joy in the little things, as I did before. Joy in the wealth of knowledge, laughter in friends(old and new) and even though the route will never be the same- I will enjoy the journey.
