I am 19 today. And I feel slightly melancholic at the idea that this decade of my life is almost over. I suspect it will be my favourite chunk of life. But of course nothing is guaranteed, it may get even nicer from this point.
When I turned 10 I was immensely excited. Two digits ! I knew it meant 8 years until I was done with school and had grown up. Growing up. Everyone tells you to stay young and suddenly they ask that you act mature and self sufficient. A paradoxical existance. I am thankful that I will always be able to look back at my adolescence and see such immense happiness trapped in the amber of memory. A childhood that was unmarred so I could have a reference point of how happy I should be.
Am I now too old to wish on the ever increasing candles and the dandelion seeds that blow away? In many ways, I am still a child. But then again, I was a child who took myself too seriously. I want to abandon all inhibition and jump on a jumping castle or slide down a slide.
This past year, my eighteenth, was by far the most beautifully challenging year. I was stretched, changed and yet stayed the same. It intensified who I was and let that rise to the surface. It was a year I laughed loud, cried less and loved more. I met amazing people but the people I had known before, I learned to love even more from afar. When your support system is spread out across four cities, you have to add a few more people. So I am thankful to everyone who taught me how to grow. The good and the bad. I was so scared at first. And now I have this feeling like I will never be scared of change again
So I will savour this last year. I will taste it like I was devouring the sugary litchi from Appa's garden. I will smell it as if it smelled the way my mother always smells,of flowers and safety. I will hear it like every song I loved on the radio. I will see it with curious eyes. I will always reflect on it so that I never take it for granted. And I will love with all the intensity of love that I have been loved with.
It is in this way I will strive to keep one last burst of joy in my childhood. This dandelion dust trapped in amber.
