I feel like it is wholly necessary to make a few declarations. Because it's 2016 and yet I find myself being exposed to attitudes from 1955.
I am mortified that a discussion - on the disparity of wages with regard to the higher salaries of males, when compared to their female EQUALS- was responded to with " It's because she's spending it all on shoes".
So yeah totally dude. Women are paid less because we have this unbearable urge to buy shoes so naturally our caring employers pay us less to curb this evil of society. We totally don't have to complain and if we just stop buying all those shoes- we should be fine. You keep doing the same job and earning more and we can just tie some cut up tyres to our feet and our financial concerns should be over.
No. I refuse to even suffer fools like this. But for now- I will so we can clear some things up
1) PMS: Even if I bled from my eyes and ears - my anger is legitimate
Men who go "Are you angry because you're on your period?"
Excuse me?
Are you being idiotic because you just had a lobotomy? No? Oh... This is you functioning at 100% ?
The idea that a woman can only substantiate her anger because she has her period implies that her feelings aren't legitimate. It implies that her feelings can only be mansplained away if they bring up the fact that you are bleeding.
If I'm angry and you want to talk about blood- we can arrange to have some of yours drawn, dude.
2) Women don't fit your boxes
We're all really just one dimensional beings with no business having varied interests, apparently. Because some men actually hold this idea very close- If he can put us into a box and figure it out then he is safe.
Here are some scenarios and typical responses I've seen
- If a woman likes sports- "Wow she's doing it for attention. I bet she doesn't know the players who aren't hot. We should quiz her right now"
- If a woman has no interests in sports - "She probably spends all her time watching the Kardashians ugh"
-If a woman likes makeup - "Ugh why won't she be natural? No guy wants a clown"
-If a woman doesn't wear makeup - "Are you sick?" "Why don't you put effort in? No guy wants someone who doesn't try"
- If she wears "too little" she's a slut
-And if she wears "too much" she's a prude
If a woman is promoted - "Well she slept her way to the top."
-If a man is promoted - " He earned that."
This list could go on. But it boils down to women being defined as if we live our lives to please men. As if we exist to meet the (low) expectations of men. We become defined by our sexuality, our personality fades away apparently. We become examined by our appearance. Not ability.
Women are beautiful multifaceted creatures of serendipity and great strength. We are everything we should be: We are ourselves.
And no man could define me. Not a single one could be able to even trace the outlines of my soul and give me an assessment. The lives we live and the fights we endure because we are women- heck it deserves regular rounds of applause.
But we don't get that applause and yet here we are- getting on with life and FLOURISHING. I don't need validation.
3) We wear high heels so we look good when we walk circles around the Patriarchy
This world was not set up for us. These barriers were manufactured to keep us "in our lane". Yet women everywhere are knocking these walls down.
There are pioneers who bravely sacrificed so I could learn to read and write. There are soldiers who fought so women could vote. And right now- there are revolutionaries who strive to make this world a better place for women who are still being silenced.
I will wear my heels and bat my eyelashes. I will curl up my hair and throw on some lipstick- it's not for you. It's because dismantling the patriarchy is something we need to celebrate. Something we should honour.
It's ok to be scared of big, bad Feminists- I would quake in my boots if people began dismantling the basis of my power. It's ok to worry- we're coming for your jobs and possibly the land. Hide your children- because we will educate them. We will dance in circles around you because we have had to. Women have HAD to be better and faster and stronger to even get the same amount of respect and pay as men. So of course this party scares you, of course a call for equal pay terrifies you.
And I'll be damned if I don't go to the fall of the Patriarchy wearing Russian Red and a pair of stilettos.
