Today I wore a punjabi

I don't celebrate Diwali in the traditional sense (owing to being Christian). But today I wore a punjabi, did my hair up in a bun and squeezed my legs into those tight pant- contraptions they come with.

Why?  Because I miss Durban, home. I miss Ma and Appa and Grandma and Thatha (my maternal and paternal grandparents) and all my family. I miss the feeling of belonging. Since we moved, I will admit that I felt the Indian part of me dull significantly. I miss having loads of Indian friends to talk to with those weird accents we all do when we mimic our mothers. I wasn't exactly a vedda making, sari wearing(ok I lie about that), bhangra dancing Indian but I still love my culture deeply.

Durban is the world's largest diaspora of Indians outside India. And God I miss it on days like today. Days where Appa's garden was filled with candles and the smell of food would waft around until it permeated your being. Days where it would probably rain but no one would cease to fill the sky with colour and where sparklers were lit in quick succession.

I read the Ramayan when I was old enough to read proper books. Appa had spent virtually my entire childhood telling me stories as I fell asleep, quizzing me the next day about the details and retelling the best bits. Ram and Sita was a favourite because he read it out of his green-and-red copy that reminds me so vividly of being young.

We moved over 10 months ago, but this morning was the first proper, nausea inducing homesickness I've felt. I love talking to other students who are from Durban or who know Durban. It's weirdly comforting to know someone else misses that gorgeous coastal city where all our stories began. 

So this is for all the students, people who moved to work or just Indian people who are far away from home on Diwali. I started crying like a baby while on the bus so I can only imagine how you feel alone this year. Happy Diwali ♥