The Taboo Trifecta: Crimes at a dinner party

Unless you're  an astronaut, I don't want to hear about your job. C'est finis.

 Life is too short to spend dinner parties telling people about what you do, your banal problems at work and why you deserve a promotion. Life is too interesting to bore others with the details of your day to day activities. Unless someone loves you and asks " So how was work darling?", you don't need to actually offer up a twenty minute monologue about how nepotism and the hierarchical structure of your job prevents you from being where you should be. Tell your supervisor that, not me. 

For most, politics and religion are taboo topics. Not me, to listen to a healthy discussion about whether God is female or male or a concept created by humans to feel less alone- conversation like that is thrilling. My taboo topics are: Money, your job and "that time I sang a song with a lisp when I was 5 that my mum likes to bring up around my friends ". 

Trust me, I want to know about why you are rooted what you believe and who you would vote for because it's a reflection of you as a person. Do you agree with the ruling party's choice to withdraw from the ICC? How do you feel about nationalization? Are you pro choice? Will you agree with me when I say my uterus is my own and no Facebook raving fundamentalist can sway me to believe otherwise. 

If you ARE a Facebook warrior against abortion and feminism then I probably will have to restrain from being rude because we both know it's unfair to fire a shot when you have the upper hand (NB - if in an argument with a fundamentalist Facebook warrior- you always have the upper hand on the moral high ground of sanity) (we will tackle them further on a day when I have more time and appropriate memes). Hold onto your blinkers until the end please and thank you. 

Talk about taboo topics with me- a sex scandal that involves a religious politician is a trifecta of taboo that one only dreams of. When we veer towards the controversial ,it reveals so much more. More than your spat with Bob from Human Resources, more than the traffic at five on a Friday. 

I want to ask you about your favorite film to see if we have any common ground in our tastes. What music have you been listening to? (Note I have a kickass Soundcloud playlist of music I am dying to talk about, to someone who likes a little indie and folk ) (at some point I will Fangirl about allll my favourite artists in a post). 

If words fail you, we can just talk trash about the strange people you know who have made bad life choices (or I can deliver an anecdote in the same vein). If you don't like the arts (I once met a man at a party who declared he couldn't abide by talking about the arts so we talked about science and AI technology and the eventual rise of machines who have more sense than to let war mongering humans carry on as we do) then we can mix it up- everyone has varied interests, I keep up with innovation (thanks TED and all the cool science blogs out there )the way I keep up with the Kardashians (I am very caught up, FYI).

Tell me about your big contract or presentation and all I can define you by is your job. People who discuss their salaries - you give me actual hives.  I don't know- maybe one day when I start to work I will empathise but what I will continue to ask is - "If you're so miserable at your job, why bring it up when you aren't even there?". 

Unless you're an astronaut or someone actively pushing innovation or medicine or social problems forward, I don't actually care. Will you be remembered for your job? Meh, I won't recall much more than my stifled yawns and staring at the untouched peppers on my plate.

Posterity won't note more than the time you got too drunk at an office party and shouted out about your gripes with lower executive middle management of the company you work for. 

(All pictures do not belong to me, thanks Google).

Toothache: On Candy Crush and Imbeciles

I do it on the bus, the train, sometimes before a lecture and occasionally when waiting in traffic. It doesn't last long, usually a few minutes and then it's over. Have I sent you a Game Request telling you what I'm doing? No. 

Candy Crush has become a much condemned, nay despised game by people who do not play it (and a lot of us who do play it) because users will incessantly send out requests to their Facebook friends. If you're into being detested and mocked then go ahead and send me another game request. 

I'm currently on level 270 (ok I'm stuck right now) (blame peak traffic for this). I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm not sending a plea to help me and I'm certainly not begging you for an extra life so I can get past the level. It's just a game that passes the time for me, it doesn't have to be your problem.

I think the only times I've sent Candy Crush requests were when:

1) A friend and I agreed that if I was stuck in Gingerblade Glade any longer (trying to unlock the quest), I could send him a request and he would ask if ever he was stuck for a few weeks. Mutual acceptance of the dreaded request.

2) My Significant Other was the other invite for the one above. The last one I decided to send to someone who had plagued me with requests for lives. That was a mistake. I have probably received 54 requests from her alone. 

In reality 30 minutes isn't a long time, if you run out of lives then put the phone down and do something productive. 12 hours isn't a long time, if you finish the quest then wait until you can play again. Instant gratification for you is an annoying notification for the rest of the population. DID YOU KNOW YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO CONNECT TO FACEBOOK? I put my data off and play without really needing to have popups to send people lives/extra moves/ my soul/a gift. 

I enjoy the game. It's a simple concept that appeals to the parts of your brain that like rewards. But I am tired now, of having the same inane requests.A friend of mine told me that someone he knows actually texted,called and IM'd him to ask if he had seen their game request. Those are the people we don't need in our lives. Or on Facebook.

 Yay you got a higher score on level 77, is it really necessary to post that irrelevant piece of information onto my wall? I don't care.   I play, it passes the time on my daily commute to university. My mum plays, she doesn't even have Facebook. She's even told me to leave her phone alone when I've offered to do a level for her.  

But I know that the real motivation for the statuses that declare that they will unfriend people who they have who send a CC request:

1) The imbeciles who send them, barely know you. They make no effort to communicate with you, nor do they actually read your blog (cough cough), sorry I meant they don't actually care. Same thing really.

2) Its the same idiot, again and again. 

3) They don't even play the game, they don't care. Why do you fill up their notifications with crap? 

I've decided to send the people who send me game requests a link to my blog. Afterwards they are free to decide. And by "free"I mean I will post this link all over their walls until they stop. You can do the same (all press is good press). Don't send me lives, extra moves or a Lollipop Hammer. Do something worthwhile between your CC lives replenishing if it is such a vital part of your life.It says more about you than it does about me if you can't find something to do for 30 minutes.  

Refuse to abide by my terms and I will sugar crush you.